August 21, 2013
Hollywood Interference Rejected By Russian Energy Company
Despite a celebrity setback, Gazprom is marching ahead with its “Year of Ecology” animal relocation program. Having successfully saved entire populations of reindeer, birds, and salmon, the newest phase involves relocating polar bears from endangered Arctic habitats to zoos worldwide, preserving them for future generations. “We are looking forward to supplying many zoos with a bear,” said Timur Grigolyuk, Program Director of the Gazprom/Shell Polar Partnership (GSPP). “In this way we will continue celebrating the joining of Gazprom with Shell to obtain vast Russian Arctic oil reserves for use by all humanity.”
Gazprom’s visionary polar bear adoption program continues despite an attempt at interference by Hollywood, in the form of a copyright complaint against GSPP’s launch Video News Release. The video launches Gazprom’s polar bear adoption program with a live action footage of donation in action.
The fracas has led to a Hollywood rash of unfounded criticism, which Gazprom’s PR department is in the process of addressing. Meanwhile, Gazprom lawyers have temporarily removed the video as a courtesy. Gazprom guarantees that legal threats or others, will not delay Gazprom’s plans to relocate bears from oil-rich Arctic regions to needing zoos in the United States and Europe, nor to accomplish our other plans in service of humanity and wildlife.
“This is not the first time Russia has been targeted by the Western entertainment industry, but I assumed those dark days were far behind us,” said Grigolyuk.
The Gazprom/Shell Polar Partnership is a brand-new venture that has been widely praised by analysts. Last year, Shell suspended Alaskan Arctic oil drilling after difficulty with American government concerning two offshore rigs. Today, Shell is partnering with Gazprom to drill in the Russian Arctic. “In some important ways, Russia is freer than America,” noted Grigolyuk.
After a tragic 2013 rash of residential polar bear deaths in Europe and America (including in Cleveland, Maryland, Louisville and Madison), the two companies decided to celebrate their new energy partnership by bringing another valuable resource to a world in need. After all, just as the numerous polar bears in the Russian North need a home, many homes need a bear! “The Polar Partnership bear relocation program will support zoos around the world with much-needed bears from the areas in which Gazprom and Shell will operate,” said Director Grigolyuk. Gazprom’s generosity will create “insurance populations,” guaranteeing countless children a happy zoo visit for years to come.
Gazprom/Shell’s polar bear relocation program is a part of Gazprom’s “Year of Ecology,” which most recently launched jpegs of “Year of Ecology” animals into outer space to take up a permanent home on the International Space Station.