The Yes Men | Beyond the Golden Parachute: A Conversation in Tampere
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Beyond the Golden Parachute: A Conversation in Tampere

Reveal Date

January 7, 2001

Corporate power, Textiles, WTO

MIKE: What are you at this conference for?


WOMAN: I’m here for an intelligent wearables project. Work wear. Were using smart textiles in clothing for work.


ANDY: Wow. Whats that mean?


WOMAN: I can’t tell you. Its very specific workers were dealing with.


ANDY: Specific?


WOMAN: Well, workers in very hard conditions. Not normal conditions.


MIKE: I guess that would be us. Giving talks like this is very unusual for us.


ANDY: Yes, we really have no idea what people think about it. And we want to give many such talks in the future. So we really do want to know….


MIKE: … what you think. What did you think of our lecture? Could we improve it?


ANDY: Yeah, how?


WOMAN: Look guys, Ill tell you what was wrong with your presentation, but I dont think youre going to want to hear it.


MIKE AND ANDY: Yes we do!


WOMAN: Well, I think your performance was clear. It was brilliant, in fact. I think you showed very nicely how the factory owner needs to be close to the workers. But the way you presented it was not fair.


ANDY: Fair?


WOMAN: It was not fair. You present it as, the males are the owners and the females are the workers. But females can be factory owners too.


MIKE: Of course.


ANDY: Its just the… metaphor?




ANDY: If we changed the… metaphor…. [Big circular motions around his chest, as if to show where big golden breasts might be placed.]


WOMAN: Yes. But dont get me wrong, your performance was brilliant. And you got your point across, thats the main thing.


MIKE: Can I ask you what that point was, for you?


WOMAN: Just the point. How to remote-control factories in the Far East, from Europe, the U.S., whereverfrom a different culture.


ANDY: So the point was clear. Just the shape was unfortunate.


WOMAN: A penis is a nice shape. I’m only speaking of what it meant.


MIKE: What did it mean?


WOMAN: Male perspective. Too much.