You’re hired! We’ve decided that you have all the skills required to make sure Chevron’s “We Agree” ad campaign is well and truly wrecked.
Here’s your mission. You may have seen the 155 amazing, hilarious “We Agree” posters, that have gotten far more play in the news and online that Chevron’s own deranged ads. (If you haven’t submitted your own, there’s still time!)
It’s now time to take this a whole lot further, and wheat-paste your favoriteseverywhere. Everyone needs to wonder: “What’s this whole Chevron thing about, anyhow?”
Click here for full instructions. We know this is a tall order, but as you know, it’s important. And if one eight-foot giant could take over the world, surely all of us can! (Incidentally, there are awesome prizes for those who wheat-paste the most copies, as well as for those who figure out the coolest places to put up an ad.)
If nocturnal stealth and derring-do aren’t your style, here’s another way you can mess with Chevron, right from the comfort of your own home, or during your coffee break:
- Call or email Chevron. (See below. When you find other numbers that don’t go to voicemail, please send them and we’ll update this page!) Make sure to record your call.
- Chevron switchboard: 1-925-842-1000 or 1-925-218-3825.
- CEO Watson’s secretary: 1-925-842-3232.
- CEO Watson’s email: email@example.com.
- Send us your phone conversation or email correspondence. There will be prizes for different categories of funny: funny repartee, most heated funny, funny confusion, nonsensical funny, and longest exchange.
- The main point is to make something funny that people will share around widely. (It’s also great to occupy a bunch of Chevron’s time.) Here are just a few ideas foropeners for phone calls or emails, to get your creative juices flowing:
- “Hello Chevron, I’m a big shareholder. I saw your ad campaign plastered all over downtown, and I think it’s misguided. People don’t like Darth Vader, or chainsaw murder, or messing up foreign countries. Why would you brag about that?”
- “Dear Chevron: Your usage of the ‘Gollum’ character is an infringement of the rights of New Line Cinema. We hereby demand that you cease and desist from any and all misleading P.R. operations that involve the use of ‘Gollum’ or related trademarks. Yours truly, GreenbergTraurig, LLP”
- “Hi Chevron, I’m a 94-year-old grandmother from Plano, Texas, and I just wanted to say I don’t think your Hitler ad is really appropriate for small children.”
- “Dear Chevron: We commend you on your compassionate visual treatment of sea fowl. We can haz, indeed. Thanks.”
- “Hey Chevron! I love your new ad campaign. Would you consider making a ‘We Agree’ poster for [insert issue here]?”
- “My dearest Chevron: My church, acting as one, wish to commend you on your wonderful ad, ‘Oil Companies Should End The Wars They Helped Start.’ Your sentiment is noble, and the ad itself so very well conceived. May God bless you all.”
- “Dear Chevron, Thank you for pointing out that bicycles are no panacea. It is also very smart to point out that wind power has a few drawbacks. Best, Alternative Energy Watch, San Ramon Chapter”
- “Chevron: We wish to commend you for noting that although it is difficult to prove that God does not exist, this does not, nevertheless, prove that God does. You have some new fans at the Tuscaloosa County Atheist Association.”
- “Yo Chevron. As a longtime shareholder, I am appalled that you would equate money with the proverbial ‘middle finger’ expression.”
- “Dear Chevron: Your endorsement of Sarah Palin for President in 2012 does not fall on deaf ears. Just as Palin sees much from her windows, so we see Palin from ours. Best, Wasilla County GOP”
- “Chevron: I think your ad, ‘Corporate tanks stop for no one,’ sends the wrong message. That Chinese tank actually did stop for the man in the photo, at least briefly.”
Anyhow, you get the idea… Whether you choose to mess with Chevron in the streets or from your phone, let us know how it goes!
Note: With the newly-launched Yes Lab, the Yes Men are helping a number of activist groups launch projects around crucial issues. Soon, this will mean a lot more opportunities for you to be involved—whether locally, in a specific cool action in your city, or by joining forces with thousands of others in all kinds of different places to do something fun and important, like this. To make sure you get the right messages, please take a moment to update your profile at www.theyesmen.org/join.